Harry R. Schwartz

In the 18th and 19th centuries, English philosophers Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill developed a handy moral system called utilitarianism. It states that the goal of an action should be to cause the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people. This is an extremely practical rule; the only thing required is a method for quantifying happiness.

The felicific calculus deals with a number of factors (called vectors, to my delight). For each person affected by an action, sum up the first six values below, then sum the respective values of each person. If this final summation is positive, then the action is good! Wikipedia lists the vectors:

Intensity

How strong is the pleasure?

Duration

How long will the pleasure last?

Certainty or uncertainty

How likely or unlikely is it that the pleasure will occur?

Propinquity or remoteness

How soon will the pleasure occur?

Fecundity

The probability that the action will be followed by sensations of the same kind.

Purity

The probability that it will not be followed by sensations of the opposite kind.

Extent

How many people will be affected?

This really only pushes the quantification problem back a step, but these categories are a little easier to score.

Bentham also did a bunch of other neat things: he came up with the Panopticon, a hypothetical prison in which all inmates are constantly under (possible) surveillance; developed some of the first ideas about animal rights; and through his friendship with Adam Smith tried to apply some of his ideas about utility to economics. He also had his body preserved in a small glass closet—I’ll let Wikipedia explain this…

As requested in his will, his body was preserved and stored in a wooden cabinet, termed his “Auto-icon.” Originally kept by his disciple Dr. Southwood Smith, it was acquired by University College London in 1850. The Auto-icon is kept on public display at the end of the South Cloisters in the main building of the College. For the 100th and 150th anniversaries of the college, the Auto-icon was brought to the meeting of the College Council, where he was listed as “present but not voting.” Tradition holds that if the council’s vote on any motion is tied, the auto-icon always breaks the tie by voting in favour of the motion.

— Wikipedia

The head is made of wax, and was regularly stolen by students as a prank. So I guess what I’m saying here is that utilitarianism is pretty exciting stuff.